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WHAT IS A NEW WAY OF APPROACHING A DIVORCE?

It used to be that you just went out and hired an attorney and then maybe sought out some financial advice on your divorce.

Your attorney became your best friend, confident, therapist, coach and legal advisor and then at the end of each month, those billable hours would all show in one big fat bill!

The arrival of divorce coaching and mediation has changed up the process making it more goal driven, offering clarity, emotional support, forward driven thinking and in the end, helps to create a more amiable and “child centered” divorce than in prior years. For a lot less money!

Here is a simplified definition of “Mediation”:

“A family law mediator is a neutral party specially trained to help couples resolve the issues in their divorce. The mediator facilitates the communication between the parties by making sure each party is given an uninterrupted time to speak, asking a party to restate or explain a point when necessary, and asking questions to make communication clear. The mediator also provides information about the legal system, how issues may be viewed by lawyers or judges, and what alternatives there are for solving issues. When necessary, the mediator will refer the couple to third party experts for services such as  real estate appraisals, for example”. (source: Family.Findlaw.com)

Divorce coaching offers a solution focused platform with goal oriented strategies that enable choices and decisions to be made from a more calm, rationale and peaceful frame of mind.

Divorce coaching, unlike counseling, focuses on the present and keeping your client moving forward and through emotional support and guidance, helps prepare the client for the business aspect of their divorce.  Offering the client what I refer to as “the 3 c’s of divorce”.

Clarity on their desired outcome, courage to face the road ahead and the confidence to get through the process in the shortest amount of time with the least amount of hassle!

IS THERE FASCINATING INFORMATION ABOUT DIVORCES?

  • Only two U.S Presidents have known to have been divorced: Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump
  • Mel and Robyn Gibson's divorce in 2009 is considered to be the largest celebrity divorce settlement, as Mel paid his ex $425 million.  Yes, you read that right.  $425 million dollars!
  • Forty-three percent of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers
  • 41 percent of first marriages end in divorce
  • 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce
  • percent of third marriages end in divorce
  • The average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is eight years
  • A study in 2004 found that 56% of divorce cases involved one party having an obsessive interest in internet porn websites!

 

ANYTHING INNOVATIVE IN THE DIVORCE INDUSTRY?

Here are some facts along with speculation about where the industry is going:

First, divorce numbers are not going down.

In fact, they will likely go up. While the overall number of marriages is declining in some countries, current projections indicate a sharp increase in the number of divorces in the future. This is partially because divorce is no longer considered taboo, but also because the first generation who witnessed widespread divorce in the 1980s are getting older and many will follow in the footsteps of their parents. It is currently estimated in some studies,  that today’s teens , or Generation Z ( Generation Z, which has been defined as people born from the mid 1990s to the early 2000s, made up 25% of the U.S. population, making them a larger cohort than the Baby Boomers or Millennials)  will have on average,  2-3 marriages and 2-3 divorces in their lifetimes without having any major personal issues with it. Communities are changing, including the influence of religion, which points to an overall acceptance of divorce not known in previous years..

As society continues to become more accepting of divorce and technology streamlines our daily lives, divorce itself will become not only less expensive, but less complicated.  Innovation will make the process more transparent, allowing clients to easily learn the reputation of divorce professionals before they hire them via the web, even defining specific criteria for their own  unique needs. This means that it will be easier for people to identify the professional who is best suited to help with their particular situation. Technology is also opening access to previously difficult-to-find legal content, which means that couples can do much of their preparation and legal work themselves. Most of the information they need can be found on websites and good referrals to one’s “Divorce Team” and the outcome of that means a faster, more affordable and less complicated divorce.

MEDIATION WILL BECOME THE MOST CHOSEN WAY TO DIVORCE

Mediation will become the most popular divorce solution. In the interest of saving time and money, many clients will choose to avoid litigation and lawyers with less than stellar reputations. The simplification of the divorce process means that in the future couples will be able to split in less stressful and more amicable way, such as through a mediation process. It’s only a matter of time before mediation becomes the top method of divorce.

Dominique is a strong advocate for seeking advice and guidance from a reputable family law attorney when there are larger assets and children to consider.  Not that mediation cannot also play a role, but she has seen a lot left on the table when Attorneys are not at minimum.

Generally, a good divorce attorney will recommend mediation if the state does not mandate it already. You can see attorney’s that Dominique has interviewed on Divorzing TV Show.

As the market continues to move and evolve there are a few steps divorce professionals can take to ensure they are not left behind:

  • Embrace technology and create time to discover new opportunities
  • Match the opportunities with your company’s activities and create new solutions that fit in the landscape of today and tomorrow
  • Offer mediation solutions- with strong referrals to other divorce related professionals
  • Companies like (Divorce Rocket and Legal Zoom) will need to prepared to process paperwork faster yet keep costs lower for the divorce process
  • Build an accessible, honest and transparent online reputation and engage with audience and potential clients

WHAT ABOUT REAL RESULTS FROM DIVORCE COACHING THAT THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW?

THOUGH THERE ARE NO READILY AVAILABLE PERCENTAGE OR FACT BASED AMOUNTS, DIVORCE COACHING HAS BEEN SHOWN TO:

  • Significantly reduce the costs associated with one’s divorce.  A divorce coach will be able to help with everything from the beginning stages of thinking about divorce.  As your “thinking partner”, a divorce coach will help you gain clarity on deciding if divorce truly is the best option.  From there, when a divorce seems imminent, your coach will create a custom “ road map” through the process offering emotional support, guidance and all the resources you might need in the process. A properly trained Divorce Coach can help you with preparing proposed parenting plans and help you discover your ideal outcome all said and done. Thousands of dollars are saved by not  paying an attorney an hourly rate to determine these pieces.  And you are now prepared for the business aspect of your divorce that they received their training for.

 

  • Significantly lessen the animosity between you and your spouse by keeping you level headed, educated and focused on the end result through coaching and empowering you to stay focused on the end goal.

 

  • Contribute immensely towards positive co-parenting between spouses by encouraging high conflict divorcing couples to utilize tech based communication platforms such as “My Family Wizard” to communicate appointments, parenting time, doctor appointments, school or sporting events, etc., when face to face communication just won’t work.

 

  • Provide a holistic approach to the divorce process encouraging self nurturing and self discovery which allows for you to be better equipped emotionally to process the divorce and then look to create a new, exciting life with opportunities you may not have  discovered without such support and guidance.  Not only does this benefit you, but your relationships with your ex, kids and the health of their future intimate relationships, leaving old patterns that did not serve anyone well, behind.